Fandom High Security Center, Thursday

[nookiepowered]

"Oh God, what fresh hell is this?"

You'd think Bo was watching the security feeds, given, you know, Fandom, but no. She'd just logged into her NotaBlog account. Shellac Error, refresh, Top Coat Error, refresh, Out of Cheese Error, refre-- SURPRISE! Whole new site design!

"What. The. Frak."

Sure, she only used the thing to follow the Angelica Demesnes anonmeme anymore, but seriously? Where were the shortcuts? Where was the header? Why was there a goat in a gimp suit on the sidebar? Despite every instinct in the world screaming at her not to click...

Baaa-aaaaa-aaahhhh!!

"Oh, that's just wrong. Why would you do that?"

So yeah, anyone passing by probably still thought she was watching the security feeds. Because Fandom.

[Open!]

Comments

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

Okay. Was that a goat?

Vic paused a moment in the hallway wondering if this Bo guy needed a moment or...

Ah, screw it.

"Excuse me," she said knocking on the doorframe. "I'm looking for Bo?"

[nookiepowered]

"If you're from the farm animal protection service, I can explain," Bo replied without looking up from her screen, or changing the frankly disgusted expression on her face.

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

"Um. I'm from the sheriff's department?" Vic said not meaning to make that statement sound like a question. "Doyle said I should talk to Bo about the weirdness of this island but if you need a moment..."

[nookiepowered]

"I need a lifetime and some brain bleach to unsee that," Bo answered, tapping the screen. "But since I don't have those and I'm guessing you don't either, I'm all--" She looked up, and the face got decidedly less disgusted. "--yours."

Jake really needed to stop hiring hot blondes. Or the other thing, the thing that wasn't stop.

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

Oh, Bo. This one doesn't have any supernatural powers. Careful now!

"Well then," Vic said showing off a crooked grin. "Maybe you can convince me that this place is as freaky as everyone else claims it to be."

....

"Except I don't want to see that goat thing. Whatever that was."

[nookiepowered]

Hey, she had yet to drain anybody by looking. Except for maybe kind of Jack in an alternate universe shut up it was all Umbridge's fault.

"I don't blame you. The udder-clamps alone..." Bo shuddered. "I repeat, why would somebody do that?" And why would they put the link to the login button there of all places?

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

Udder clamps?

"Okay is this an example of the weirdness here? Because if you're watching goat porn... Well that's a pretty good example of weird right there."

[nookiepowered]

Bo snorted. "I wish it was goat porn; at least then I'd have been expecting it." That...came out wrong. "Not that I'm into goats. I have limits."

Somewhere.

"Maybe I should start over. Hi, I'm Bo. I like punching things. Today's top contender is the internet, but if we wait five minutes, I'm sure some flying tigers or exploding gummi bears will show up."

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

"Well I've never seen anyone punch the internet before," Vic joked as she took a seat and leaned back in the chair. "But I've got five minutes so I'm willing to see if the gummi bears or flying tigers show up. I did see the zombies at Caritas the other night but I'm getting the impression that's just the tip of the ice berg."

[nookiepowered]

"The zombies are old news, yeah. They've been here since..." Bo blinked and realized she had no idea. "Well, longer than me, anyway." Grateful for the excuse to click out of the goatforsaken site design, she spun her monitor around so that both of them could see it, and opened up the security feed folder.

"I can show you one of the times everybody turned into talking ponies? Nah, that's a little less impressive when you've got one on staff. How about flying fire peppers?"

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

"Um. Sure let's go with the pepper thing," Vic replied before doing a double take. "Wait. There's a horse on the teaching staff?"

[nookiepowered]

"Pony." Bo pulled up some jalapeno footage while she answered. "Pink pony. Talking pink pony."

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

Oh, Bo. That was such a dubious look you were getting... Until the pepper footage started.

"Shit. Really?" She said watching the footage. "That's... Yeah. Okay. That's fucked up. And what's with all the bows and arrows? And Holy shit did that girl just turn into.... What the fuck did she just turn into, fog?"

[nookiepowered]

"Probably." Bo didn't want to know how far the range of that rooftop camera extended; she really didn't. "It's not just the island that's weird; a lot of people who show up on it aren't enturely what you'd call--" Human. Cough. "--normal."

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

"I'm beginning to get that idea," Vic said leaning over more to intently stare at the screen. "I'm not going to have to learn to shoot a bow and arrow am I? Because I kind of suck at that."

[nookiepowered]

"I've got a couple if you ever want to try it out, but nah." Bo shook her head. "Everybody's got their thing; some of these kids come from places that don't have guns, some just don't like stuff that goes boom."

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

"Shit," Vic said leaning back in her chair again. "How often does this stuff happen?"

[nookiepowered]

Bo lifted her hands, palms up. "Whenever the hell it wants to; if it happened on a schedule everybody's life would be a whole lot easier, but no. I mean, some of it's always here - the people, the places. Like don't try to throw a punch in Caritas, dunno if anybody gave you that tip."

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

"Uh. No. What's going to happen if I throw a punch? Does that start the zombies on a rampage for brains?"

[nookiepowered]

Bo snickered. "No, the band's weirdly tame; just watch out if you're outside of Caritas and you see any zombies you don't recognize. Inside, it doesn't matter if you're a sewage-belching skunkmonster, you try to hurt somebody and you get zapped outside and dumped in the duck pond."

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

Vic so had to get that security system for Henry.

Vic gave Bo an evil grin. "Seriously? I so need that to happen for the bar brawls back home. Actually I just want to carry whatever gizmo that does that around with me and piss people off and get them to take a swing at me."

[nookiepowered]

"You're not gonna like this answer, but you might as well get used to it 'cause you'll hear it a lot around here: there's no gizmo; it's magic."

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

Vic blinked a few times as she tried to process that.

"Well... Okay," she said after a long pause. "Keep in mind... still skeptical here but between zombies, mist girls and flying jalapeno peppers that's kind of hard to argue against."

She groaned and rubbed her head. "I'm going to kill Walt. Kill him."

[nookiepowered]

"Your travel agent?" Bo guessed with a 90% chance of being wrong.

[fracknotfrak.livejournal.com]

She let out a snort of laughter. "My boss. This is his idea of protecting me."

[nookiepowered]

Bo glanced at the screen, paused on a close-up of a fireball-spitting vegetable, and appreciated the irony of what she was about to say. "That's not necessarily a bad plan? I mean, it depends what you need protection from."